We are still at war.
TAPS FOR THE DEATH OF THE AMERICAN DREAM
i know it seems so right sometimes
but you can't come down onto my side
you've got your own world war to fight
i know it feels so wrong tonight
but i can't come down onto your side
i've got my own world war to fight
listen, as long as it means something,
you never have to explain anything ever again
and i'd love to be there when you win
but i can't come down onto your side
i've got my own class war
i've got my own unseen force
i've got my own locked doors
i've got my own trojan horse
i've got my own folklore
i've got my own four score
i've got my own king george
i've got my own michael moore
i've got my own hardcore
i've got my own message board
i've got my own east coast tour
i've got my own job outsourced
i've got my own chain store
i've got my own entrepreneur
i've got my own report
i've got my own disclosed source
i've got my own high court
i've got my own nineteen eighty four
i've got my own world war to fight.
FIFTY-SIX
i've been trying to write a novel when i can barely write a note
i've been bitching about the heat since i took off my winter coat
i've been trying to get back to where i was before i cracked
into these all too familiar pieces
i wore a path in the yard from the front door to my car
wore a path in the road from where we've been to where we are
and these bright city lights are just looking for a fight
tonight they just might get what they're asking for
as they ask once more
"where did we go wrong with you?
what more could we do
when you should know that it's true that it could be worse"
and that's what hurts
for example,
my cousin broke his face and had to get stitches in his head
i went to pick him up from the emergency room and he was lying there in the bed
and it was just like a scene from a movie when he said,
"how do i look?" and i said "marvelous."
his mother worries about him all of the time
but he'll never give in because he isn't that kind
and by "kind" i mean "good to his mother who could have
but hasn't given up on him yet"
but i'll bet she's said
"where did we go wrong with you?
what more could i do?"
but you can't help somebody who won't help themselves
let alone somebody else
so help yourself, help me pick myself apart
keep what you want and leave the rest for my art
as i make up for time i spent walking the line
i always knew would never keep them separate
but let's be honest, we're just trying to decide
whether to begin to live or to begin to die
and from one day to the next, depending on the context
it's probably best to know there isn't a difference
but my preference
is to just be here tonight
saying "everything's all right"
over and over until i start to see that it's true
sometimes that's all you really need to do.
THE PENNSYLVANIA LONG GOODBYE
well there's a man at the side of the road with a cardboard sign
trying to tell us all that the end is nigh
i wish i had that kind of inspiration, that kind of drive
i read the words on the church marquee that proclaim:
"jesus christ is the life and the truth and the way."
i wish i had that kind of humility, that kind of faith
instead i get on the road and try to carry myself the best way i know how
the names might change but i'm always the same
in these small cities and big towns
if there's a light at the end of the tunnel then i'll turn around
so my better half says, "you better have some kind of plan.
it's like you don't even know, it's like you can't understand."
deep down she knows it's never been a question of whether or not i can
should i just throw it all up in the air and let the airforce sort it out?
turn on the news and let the commentators
tell us commom people what we're all about?
i see a light at the end of the tunnel and i turn around
and go out, back the way i came
without so much as a claim
that i know anything
so, man, i see your little act of resistance and i raise you my glass
we'll never get any answers- it'll never be them that we ask
and still i get on the road and try to carry us all the best way i know how
there's never been anybody that's changed somebody's mind unless
"somebody" said "anybody" was allowed
there's a light at the end of the tunnel
and i turn around.
THE MARKET
just like they wanted, there's no feeling coming over me
just like they taught you since you learned how to crawl
and though i always tried to never point a finger,
this town is forcing my own hand.
with my back to the wall
i see these kids who want a head-start in the rat race
lay down a couple grand to say they've been to school
where they find sex and drugs and hierarchy and alcohol
and no education. and they step right into the role.
shall i go on?
shall i go on into the night with nothing left to scream, or fight
because it knows me all too well?
i think about my neighbor, how he used to come over here
play video games and listen to pearl jam's "ten"
ten years later he's in the army and he's over there
he came back alive but days are black they sent him oceans away again
i'm old enough to know the pain is just politicized,
that's all it ever is to those that want control
we're just the eggs that they keep breaking for their omelettes
and then they swallow it down into a bottomless hole
shall i go on?
shall i go on into that night with nothing left to scream, or fight
because i know it all too well?
i know that place inside that rolls it's eyes and heard it all before
right now it needs to hear it even more until we find a cure
for that place inside that says with a sigh, "it'll always be this way."
right now we need to hold it to the flames, because we're all to blame
for that space inside that sets its sights on someone else's goals
right now we need a brand new set of rules found deep inside the soul
of that place inside that wants a life and can't take it anymore
right now we need it like we never have before.
BAVIS, THE BABY DAVIS
we were on our way to play a show in punxy
everyone but cimba, volkman, and thorell
kate and davis climbed into big caesar
and katy said she had a passenger as well
it was a bavis, a baby davis
i hope it has crazy davis-eyes just like its dad does
bavis, the baby davis
i can't wait until you get to meet us
it's still too early to assign this kid a pronoun
but i promise when it comes into this world
the day it's strong enough to hold it's head up,
i'm gonna bounce it on my lap until it hurls
bavis, the baby davis
i hope it has a pretty katy-smile just like its mom does
bavis, the baby davis
i can't wait until you get to meet us
we're gonna teach you how to swear
and to never trust the man
we'll teach you that punk rock can save the world
and everybody in your life will love you with all of their might
and i will bouce you on my lap until you hurl
bavis, the baby davis
i can't wait until you get to meet us
bavis, the baby davis
get born already, quit being such a fetus
bavis, the baby davis
i know you'll brighten up the world just like your parents do
bavis, the baby davis
i can't wait until we get to meet you.
THE INCLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION
i was feeling uninspired so i got in my car
drove around about an hour but i didn't get too far
i never left these same old streets or this the same old path
i asked the same old questions that i always ask
like, "why do i keep wasting so much gas?"
so i stopped in at the lookout and i wound up looking down
on these mountains and these hillsides that took no pity on this town
i looked into the valley that used to hold the flood
i saw the mills that used to pump this city's blood
all just skeletons and fairy tales to us
but like a camera needs a photographer
these riverbanks just need a little rain
just like the cost of our lives keeps falling
i keep on trying to explain
exactly who i am and who i have to blame
for this view of johnstown from atop the inclined plane
put a quarter in the telescope and you can almost make it out
the artspace that they're opening right outside downtown
it's going to be our hearts, it's going to be our souls,
it's going to take the place of work and church and school
if it doesn't get shut down by city council
but every time god closes one door
he opens another chain store
the last time i came home from tour
this part of town looked like a town i'd seen a thousand times before
but like a singer doesn't need a reason to sing
this city needs no reason for its pain
just like the population keeps on dropping
i keep on trying to explain
exactly who i am and who i have to blame
for this view of johnstown from atop the inclined plane
and they say "come back. come back. the flood is over"
but i say, "come back. come back. the flood has just begun."
SPY VS. SPY
he lights up the cigarrette he bums from me
and settles in for a great big waste of time
he says, "do me a favor, you smug motherfucker,
tell me something that makes you happy. say whatever comes to mind."
and i say, "i love seeing grown men wearing jesus t-shirts.
my personal favorite says 'the lord's gym: his pain is your gain.'
i love thinking about how it must make them feel when they put it on in the morning.
i love everything that gets everybody through their everyday,
especially things that never, never work."
he says, "there you go, man. don't you know that even when you're nice you're still a jerk?"
and i say, "i do, and i almost forgot,
i love that, too."
BACK INTO EDEN
the first thing that god did when he made a man
out of blood and bacteria, bottles and cans
was to lay down the law, was to give a command:
"you'll be better off, kids, if you don't understand."
is that what you're trying? is that your excuse?
can you get back into eden if you hide from the truth?
can you get back into eden if you hide from the truth?
a stop sign that died in the middle of the street
was a hit and run victim of a patron of irony
lying there waiting for somebody else
to watch over the people who can't stop themselves
does that move you to move or call you to stall?
we all see what we want to in signs after all.
we all see what we want to in signs after all.
they say "that land is their land and this land is mine."
even if they could give it, i would say "i'm just fine."
some days i know that there's got to be more
but today i'm just happy with you on our porch
and nobody's watching and nobody cares
we can do it right here if you don't want to go upstairs
we can do it right here if you don't want to go upstairs
i know exactly where the last eight years went
waiting for somebody else to be president
to work for the people, not the other way around
if you don't use it you lose it, can't sit this one out
but to make my decision, it's going to be tough
not to hand in a ballot marked "none of the above."
but i'm going to hand in a ballot marked "none of the above."
we can take down these christmas lights, it's almost spring
and when it's almost summer we can all take down everything
bosses and bankers and landlords and kings
then we'll take down our guitars as everyone sings
"this is the start, this is the end,
oh, nothing else matters but me and my friends!"
no, nothing else matters to me and my friends
and the last thing god wanted when he made the earth
was to separate people into monetary worth
that was all you, buddy. that was all me.
think about that next time you think that you're free.
as we ignore the future to re-write the past
saying "somebody's got to be coming in last."
because that's how you learned it, but that's no excuse
you can build your own world if you find your own proof
and get back into eden if you speak your own truth.
UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED
there's a woman driving home
after working her confidence down to the bone
and when she looks into the rearview she doesn't recognize who
is looking back at her anymore
she's been hearing it her whole life:
"such a good professional. such a good wife."
but when she looks at what she's got she thinks, "someday i'll get caught
faking my way through this world."
and she is not alone
in this imposter syndrome
it's just another side-effect of the way life goes
and on the road she passes a van
that's carrying an up-and-coming rock and roll band
and they know when they get back they've got to finish up these tracks
and leave for a european tour
and finally forget what they've been doing this for.
oh but they are not alone
and this imposter syndrome
is just another side-effect of the way life goes
because ambition changes everything
and completion changes everything
everything changes everything that wasn't a part of the plan.
but how can it be that even with the things we love,
we run the risk of losing that which makes us what we are?
try to keep it all in line. try to keep it all in a row.
but what if we don't? what if that only goes so far?
HEAVY HANDED
well if we stay out all night smoking and drinking and talking i think maybe we
could figure out how to level out the playing field for people like you and me
and the guys at the end of the bar who down
glass after glass without making a sound
and think about giving up finding
their place in this world.
i get a call from a girl who was throwing a show. she said she had to cancel it due
to medical costs she incurred after drinking more than her body could take.
she said, "my hand still hurts from where they used the IV,
but other than that, i don't feel much of anything.
and i'm sorry but we'll set up something
for some other time."
i think it was laura and i who were talking about how everything important we do
we do with our hands- how we reach, how we hold, how we break, how we feel, how we move,
how we toss a few back just to handle the pain
from the place where technology entered the vein
in a sad attempt to keep us alive
and it's all pretty much the same hand that we're dealt
and it's all pretty much the same hand that we've held
and it's all pretty much the same hand that we dealt
we'll set up something else for some other time.
ROARING TWENTY-SOMETHINGS
behind the couch in the room in the basement,
there lies an electric guitar
wound the same way from five hundred years ago
rust fills the battle scars
long to scream to a silent crowd
so soft and abrasive, embarrassed and loud
holding the truth no one else was allowed
ignoring the day to day.
a car in the driveway staining the gravel
beneath it the blackest of black
was a soldering gun, was a miracle tonic
but now it can never grow back
all the parts that you lost through indifference and pride.
tell me who has been taking who for a ride
setting the course for the rest of your life
from freedom to the day to day.
but when you're too young to pine for the good old times
and too old to run away at the first sign of change,
throw up your hands because everything fades
except for the day to day.
beneath the archway that holds up the ceiling
there stands the love of my life
they say compassion turns to pity and passion into comfort
but she's got better things to do with her time
and honest to god, i don't know what i'd do
if something were ever to happen to you
so let this build the bridge connecting the two
the future to yesterday
and we'll watch summer grow into january lows
as the calendar falls down from the wall
we'll open our hands and try to embrace
even the day to day.
SHOPPING COMPLEX
could you stop in to see me if you're going to go downtown?
could you stop in to see me if you're going to go downtown?
i've got a couple of things i need and i've already written it down:
get me a brand new set of values, mine have all been rusting away.
get me a brand new set of values, mine have all but rusted away
from the first time that i tried to go out and make my name.
get me a shield from all these old men talking about the good old times.
get me a shield from all these old men talking about the good old times,
or at least a casket i can finally close on their old closed minds
get me a new version of history, one i never learned about in school.
get me a new version of history, one i never learned about in school,
one that respects dinosaurs as more than just fossil fuel.
get me a system that works, one that nobody bothers to try to change from the inside.
get me new eyes to tell the difference between what is and what was
for a better reason than "just because."
take back my apology to an old friend, i don't think i mean it anymore.
take back my apology to an old friend, i don't think i mean it anymore.
she's going to have to wait until i start to feel nostalgic like i did before.
those were the days.
so could you stop in to see me if you're going to go downtown?
could you stop in to see me if you're going to go downtown?
maybe i could ride along and burn the whole shopping complex down.
OHIO AND RUSSELL
i've been staring down the barrel of an hourglass and i am not afraid
i guess that all along i knew i could just take it out in trade
i sold the soles of my shoes to take me where i wanted to go
and now i'm gonna die famous and no one's gonna know
so put your four-ways on, let me know
where you stand by the side of the road
because i want to carry your smile
the next thousand miles
four years ago i told the slave that signed my paycheck i was never coming back
i spent the next year and a half turning my fiction into fact
one night it came to me so clearly: nothing's ever easily revealed
not for a bunch of right-fielders playing in the in-field
so we've got our sleeping bags and our maps
we'll be a twelve man band playing taps
for the death of the american dream
until we shall be free
and then one morning i awoke next to a girl i don't deserve
and now i thank my lucky stars that she's been grading on a curve
i might still spend the day restless or go to bed anxious at night
but i think it should be complicated
that probably means you're doing it right.
|
